falling though a shattered mind
by atanvarnie
Summary: some of Cloud's and zack's thoughts through the lab and escaping
1. cloud

There masses of colour in here.

Away from the stark white that covers everything and the thick, heavy wine that pulses through my veins out past my unresponsive: arms, legs, torso and head. In here I no longer have to deal with the never ending pain that even unconscious can not bring relief from. Never seeing others like me, held down screaming, writhing, thrashing against restraints trying - and failing – to remove even a fraction of the pain.

Here I'm safe! Safe! Safe from the world of pain. In here there is; no pain, no greed, no jealousy and no envy to motivate others to do this to people. To me! Why me! In here there's just the vague remembrance of; a warm touch, a loving smile, a kind word and no fear. Never any fear.

Green isn't liked here very much – a harsh green not of new grass but of a cold, harsh, insanity that freezes and burns and wakes up to the sharp, shooting pain of a shining silver metal dragging its sharpened blade through the translucent skin of my arm releasing the thick heavy wine over the cold harsh table. Also soft green and white lights blur everything but enhance the burning – the never ending pain.

Purples, violets are relaxing though feelings of being protected, loved, cared for fill here along with a deep trust. I wonder why though?

_HER _screams block out every feeling unless I'm in my room of colours or if I delve into her place. Where she changes my memories removing some entirely all while holding me close singing lullaby's. Why would I leave my mother's embrace? But twin pools of violets keep me from staying to long delving to close to mother where she sings of perfect silver and green pulling me away from her. But not for long.

I can't go out there again. It hurts to much to stay there. I'm sorry Zack – who is Zack I can't remember any more but he's special I know that – I don't think I can wake up.


	2. zack

There's no colour here.

Well no happy colours anyway just harsh white, shining silver and the sick green that burns.

I'm so worried for him- all ways for him- he's not really here any more not that could blame him if I could run away I would. But I _NEED_ him here! To make sure he's okay – not that he could be here but...

I wonder what that bastard did to him. I knew he was weak to the mako but still Seph- someone couldn't kill him. I'd die before I'll let anything like that happen again. I won't let him die!

Once vibrant blonde hair has now dulled thought he still has his spiky hair but his once beautiful blue eyes are now clouded green. Witch even if I scream or beg can't keep his eyes blue. They always fade back too green quicker and quicker each time.

I'm gonna save you Cloud I promise.

Feeding time. Time to escape.

Let's mosey.


	3. escaping

SMASH! Glass breaking. A sound of something falling. The machines activating. Dear Shiva not again please no more. No more begging even in my mind it does no goo-

The soft _Burning _green is... Going away? The prison opens and I'm falling? Warm _protective _arms hold me close. _Nothing _like _mothers_ soothing and caressing embrace there thickly muscled holding _trust_?

The green drenched clothes are carefully removed unlike the other times before I was put in the prison. Not soft but not irritable clothes cover me again with out the green that's keeping me with mother.

The others in the soft green their usual whispers turn to screams that echo through my mind. As I'm being dragged through dark shadows hiding that place full of mystery's. But how? How am I out?

Hallucinations are taking over again. Why did I hurt my _brother master god_ my who...? Yay I'm going crazy aren't I? There was no way out and no one was going to save me.

A drag upwards as a soft stream of comforting words try to cover up the sound of rushing feet and the sharp scent of fear and adrenalin _nonono _I won't go back I won't.

Being dropped carefully against the ground before the sound of guns - No I should be helping why can't _I_ help?


End file.
